cant believe 6 months passed :o still cant believe. not gonna lieeeeee but im actually hoping time would pass slower plz. im scared of what's in store for me :/
anyway i feel like i've been getting a few signs about things. and i feel like these are the answers i've been looking for. like scattered puzzle pieces and i'm finding them piece by piece. and i feel like these the hidden messages are from God, and i need to uncover them?? am i.. no. but really tho. i dont know.
ugh i actually dont really know what to talk about. i wanna talk about some real private things but im kinda worried that ppl will find this blog ((ppl i know)) and so im not sure what 2 talk about.
ok fine.
so anthony is backkk. and it sort of bothers me, and embarrasses me that i was so dumbbbb last year. and maybe a lil.. early this year. and that was all 5 months ago!! time flies by soooo fast. and now i just seriously wished i knew; earlier, then maybe i wont feel so dumb right now. i'm still leariung yesss and of course everything is an experience and a lesson for me. i know that. so yes, i'm glad i don't feel it anymore. i'm glad i don't feel pain, anxiety, butterflies, nervousness, etcetera. it's all over and behind me. it didnt really take me long to get over it (surprisingly) but honestly, i feel extremely, and mentally tired from ALL of this. from all of these kinds of things. having crushes and the fear to do this and that and all that shit. it can either be the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. but now that he's back, i'm glad i get to be myself around him and everything is ok because he understands and I, understand. and i will not be afraid anymore, everything is in the past now. but maybe my friends would think otherwise.. because honestly??? i dont even know how to say this but they're not exactly really good at "pretending" as if it didn't happen. i mean i'm not EXPECTING them to talk about it, but pls. it's just so obvious and i can't help but feel unhappy about it. i'm not gonna get all bitter and stuff, i honestly thought they knew me better???????? sobs.
anywayyyyyyyyy. this week will be a productive week. and i see good news coming. thank you in advance.
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